divorce

divorce...?
....divorce

man. is it for real this time?

i'm panting
my stiff muscles are aching
i haven't felt this in a while, such unrestrained motion
4.2; 10 min
my knees are throbbing, my feet pounding
my lungs react harshly to my body's sudden demand
every joint in my body hurts
4.5; 15min
the muscles on my sides are straining
they pull and cramp with every stride
my head spins
4.5; 20 min
my chest feels about to burst
my heart is clawing its way out through my ribs
i struggle, i gasp for air
3.0; 30 min
i'm panting
my stiff muscles are aching
i haven't felt this exhilaration in a while, such freedom

-----------

good news: i can run again
bad news: my stamina is dead

back to square one

2009 HERE I COME

2009 New Year Resolutions:

 + lose 10 final pounds!
 + find a date to sophomore cotillion ;]
 + maintain honor roll
 + hate U.S. History less
 + procrastinate a little less... just a lil... ^^;;
 + LIVE, LAUGH & LOVE

Pedophile

Yesterday was the first time any stranger ever gave me their number on a piece of paper.
See, I thought those only happened in movies.

Guess not.

I was in Java City at the CHP Library last night with Lisa and Joanna and a man in his late 20s-mid 30's wearing a business suit came up and started talking to us. At first, we thought he was just trying to be friendly, but he persisted and managed to force an awkward conversation for about a good five minutes. I knew he was hitting on us when he not only seemed too eager to talk to us, but he when called Joanna pretty twice and hinted to us that he liked asians. He talked about some Japanese movies and showed off his ability to telling the difference between Asians (he could tell we were Korean and Japanese). Obviously, this guy has been watching too much asian porn (LOLL, props to Bahruny for that one, haha). Afterwards, we each bought what we needed and went separate ways.

Later on, I came back down to the main lobby by myself. While waiting for my ride, I was on the phone with a friend and the same man from before passed me. When he saw me, he turned around and came back. He handed me a small piece of a paper, smiled, winked, and left.

His name is Anthony. LOL
and I will keep his number to prank call his sorry ass in the future. OR...I could just call the cops..

Technically, he would be considered a sexual predator since he knew that all of us were sophmores and freshman in highschool (yes, stupidly enough, we released some excess info..)

What a loser. -_-

sometimes I wonder which direction I'm heading...

i can't decide if this path i'm on is right or wrong..
if it's wrong, how should i get off? would i even be able to?

i think back to my life all throughout elem. and middle school,
and i realize that i've never had real supporting figures
not my parents, not my friends.. there was never anyone who could even compare
to the friends i have now. i've never felt so happy and loved and cared for in my life

but at the same time, i feel like i'm slowly falling beyond control into
some sort of an addiction for that kind of support..
it's distracting me from everything i've worked for and am hoping to accomplish in the future

...in the beginning, the discovery of true friendship was exhilarating
that started last year
i felt like i'd found people i would never be able to live without
and i still feel that way
no matter what problem or hardship i was going through, they were always there

and now they're still there for me ..always, to rescue and save me from my struggles...
except those struggles now come from the friends i love
i'm grateful they're there to help with problems, but sometimes ...those problems wouldn't have exist
in the first place were it not for them..

ah, it's so hard to find that delicate balance..

i can't even imagine a world without them. but it hurts so much. i don't know what to do.